Snapchat Inc. launched its new curated news service Discover Tuesday in an attempt to broaden its offering outside of its core chat service.

The service, which we previously covered pre-launch on January 22nd, is billed as “a new way to explore stories from different editorial teams.” Discover offers a storytelling format that the company says “puts the narrative first.”

In an odd take on what to provide, Snapchat said that the offering won’t be based based on what’s “most recent or most popular” but in a highbrow way where “editors and artists, not clicks and shares determine what’s important.”

Having drunk some hipster, free-range dolphin friendly soy latte, the spin gets worse.

Discover is different because it has been built for creatives. All too often, artists are forced to accommodate new technologies in order to distribute their work. This time we built the technology to serve the art: each edition includes full screen photos and videos, awesome long form layouts, and gorgeous advertising.

The highbrow line is somewhat bizarre given primary content providers include The Daily Mail and People, but it seems to be that Snapchat may be setting the platform up to be embraced by young, hipster artists in the future.

It’s rubbish

The application of the feature in the Snapchat app is to be complimented; it’s easy to use, the presentation is first class and it would be unfair not to admit that some of the curated content was interesting.

The problem is that all Discover is is simply crippled, limited fancy apps within an app; if someone wanted to read content from CNN or The Daily Mail why wouldn’t they just use the CNN and Daily Mail apps, or visit their webpages?

If they’re having problems finding content to read, they don’t need a Doctorate to use Reddit.

It’s also hard to understand just how this appeals to a typical Snapchat user who is 16 years old and likes to send self-destructing nude selfies to their friends. Are narcissistic millennials with the attention spans of gnats likely to embrace this sort of “curated” highbrow content to begin with?

Or perhaps we’re completely wrong and the core of Snapchat’s user base are men who have a fetish for beards and women who only shop at vintage clothes stores.

As it stands today Snapchat Discover is rubbish, and someone at Snapchat needs to put down the bong and have a serious think about what would actually appeal to the majority of its user base.